The Tip of the Iceberg

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1 (ESV)

Parenting teens in today's world can be tough. I know because I a parent of two children myself. Yes, my two children are much younger than the teenagers that I deal with on a regular basis but, I was a teen at once too. I remember what it was like. One of the things that I have been pressed by God to do in the last several months is to talk about parenting today with parents in our student ministry. So, I thought I give this discussion board thing a try. Feel free to leave comments on the board.

I have been reading a book of late called "Real World Parents" by Mark Matlock and to be honest it has been a little bit of a struggle here at first. The book describes what most of us have heard about parenting makes us feel guilty. The book then talks about how God love well never change towards us. So, we can't continue to feel guilty. At the same time through God loves us so much that he does want us to make changes that will help us draw closer to him individually and as a family.

Let's think about an Iceberg for a second. If you know anything about them you know the part above the waterline is just a portion of the whole iceberg. When we look at our children like an iceberg the part above the waterline would be there behaviors. (The stuff that we see) The part of the iceberg that is under the waterline would your child’s worldview and their revelation. (Where God shows them the plan for their lives) It is a basic understanding of the way the world works and what is true/false in our lives. Basically what is our reality? So, our children’s lives are hidden under the waterline until we discuss it with them. I encourage you to spend a little time discuss their belief system with them and while discuss it with share with them your belief system. I heard an interesting fact last November when I went to the National Youth Worker Convention in Nashville, TN. They said that 9 out of 10 college students today could not tell what their parent belief system is. That was quite scary to me. Today as I work as a Student Pastor and Teacher I am see more and more parents trying to be friends to there children rather than parents. Mostly due to the fact that the parents do not show or reflect their relationship to God to their children.

I leave you with a few questions to ask yourself:

1. When you imagine God looking at your family, what do you think God sees? What do you believe God's desire for your family is?

2. When you look at the world your children are living in, do you believe it's better or worse compared to when you were growing up?

3. Which matters more to you - that your children demonstrate good behavior, or that your children understand and believe in a biblical worldview?

4. In your own life, what has mattered more in the long run - your behavior on any given day or your foundational beliefs about God and the world?